Truth

Old Habits

It used to be that I shuddered at the idea of entering a Wal-Mart. I sniggered at its shady business practices and was unimpressed by the smiley face stickers. Not to mention I would have to travel to underworld of Simi Valley or Oxnard to even find a superstore.

Upon moving to Fargo, I viewed the fluorescent-lit-city-of-stuff as a necessary evil. It sold $3.00 Minute Maid Brain Juice and was open 24 hours. To navigate the over-crowded aisles I developed a stance called "Wal-Mart Elbows". One is in "Wal-Mart Elbows" when both hands are on each respective hip and create a harsh wide elbow angle. To utilize the stance's full power I encourage one top sway his or her shoulders back and forth. Voila, Wal-Mart People remain a safe distance from your very own personal space bubble*.

*NOTE: One's boyfriend may also stay far away from your personal space bubble, and pretend not to know you, whilst one is enacting "Wal-Mart Elbows".

New Beginnings 

This past weekend marked a new chapter in my Wal-Mart journey. I may have become a Wal-Mart People. Despite my dislike for the store's ethics and my belief that most of their products are sweat-shop-junk, this weekend's actions may have placed me in the weird people at Wal-Mart category.

During my search for inexpensive frozen fruit I tore into a 16 pack of "Chocolate Fudge Pop Tarts". I then went on to devour three packs of the delicious delicacy while wandering the aisles, paying my cashier and hauling my frozen fruit out to my truck. I ate without abandon or fear of what my fellow shoppers thought. Wal-Mart People stayed far away; "Wal-Mart Elbows" unneeded. I was the Wal-Mart People. And this is my truth.

Two Tid-Bits

COOL KID ALERT:

 Pop Tart's website is seriously amazing. In addition to Pop-Tart games and recipes it even has up-and-coming flavors. SPOILER ALERT, 'Murrican Poptart is on its way. 

Life Fact:

Keds and three foot snowdrifts don't mix.

Midwest Points

Wearing Normal Shoes on an -11 day= 7 Midwest Points

Admittingly shopping at Wal-Mart= 3 Midwest Points