Personhood

Feelin' Feelin'

Today I felt like a person. A recurrent sentiment in my life. Such a sensation is achieved by an assortment of odd, ordinary and rare stimuli. Driving beneath the 101 junction sign with all my windows down makes me feel like a person. And the longer the absence of such a drive, the more intense my person feeling becomes.

Long phone calls make me feel like a person, despite my relucatance to make them. "Dancing in the Moonlight", preferably Toploader's cover, makes me feel like a person. Waking up very very early to raft waterfalls and board airplanes conjures my person-feeling. Crickets beatboxing beyond my window make me feel a rush of person-ness. And today, drinking a mango boba tea rekindled my ownership of personhood.

Personal

My instantaneous flashes of person-ness take me out of the moment. They are a roadblock to the immediate, the here & now. While the causes may strongly differ, each flash moment reminds me of all my layers of living. They are mementos of the people I have loved and the days I have lived. And my afternoon treat was such a memento. 

The sunken bobas reminded me of my first mango drink on an impossibly bright sophomore afternoon, almost ten years back. My wide straw brought to mind Sydney's omnipresent drink chain, Chatime. Every sip poured easy happiness into my veins. 

Sydney, near George St., NSW

And the thing is, drinking a silly, sugar-saturated, over-priced beverage made me feel happy and whole. It reaffirmed all that living before and behind me.  

Home Sweet

I have taken to counting the days left on our lease. This year has been a long lesson in patience, the importance of gloves and home. My home is layered within me. It exists in friendships and mountain ranges. It mozies down cobblestones streets. It hides between book pages. It nestles into Preston's arms. It eats dinner at my family's oak table. And it loves California best. 

 

I traveled far, to find my home exactly where I left it. A thousand miles south. 

A Bit

Today I spotted a lone Canadian goose flying north. As I walked on snow-free pavement I heard a quartet of songbirds chirping and trilling. I wore gloves, but didn't need to. It was 38 degrees out, and the (relative)warmth of the day evoked the sensation of homeostasis.

Standing outside without shivering or cursing(silently or aloud) the tundra of the North made me feel whole. Dwelling in the fresh air with trees nearby and grass underfoot restored a bit of my humanity. I admire North Dakota's prairies and white winters, but I cannot wait to fly south this summer; so I too can return home. 

Flying South

Getting Tribal

I am well aware that nothing can replace family. I love and appreciate 95% of the different people who share my same ancestry. However I think there is something grand about the people we pick for ourselves. Some stay for a while, coming and going like a wave upon the sand; others hold fast, like a sticky hand that has been flung to your living room ceiling.

My friends are more than just friends and entirely different than my family. They are my tribe. A tribe that I crafted and created, and stumbled into my whole life long. No matter the distance between our homes or years between our reunions, once in the tribe always in the tribe. Last weekend I ended the three and half year estrangement from two its members.

Don't Know Much About History

Ancient Philosophy was the first college lecture that stole my heart. Without anything to go off, they sought to explain everything; including the matter of existence. Monists reasoned that existence was composed of one single state. Thales believed it water. Anaximenes thought it air. Perhaps the Beatles think it's love. Unable to determine my own monist theory, I created a different branch of ancient philosophy. My ancient thesis explains the resonating heartsong of friendship.

My Fellow Freshman Year Philosophers
The Day of Our Final Exam

It is my utmost belief that invisible lego-like pieces, called mazi, orbit around every person. Some pieces stay close, sometimes only a foot away. Others circulate the earth and beyond. Mazis  connect to other mazis; each connection takes place between kindred souls. Some may connect from far distances, years before future friends ever meet. Mazi fusions create instant familiarity and catalyze essential personal events. Every matched mazi furthers a person's journey to whom he or she was meant to be.

Boho Kappa Praha

Pam and Jess, are two of my mazi mates. 

Ahoj Vienna

My roommates, adventure sharers, secret keepers, drinking buddies, dancing partners, fellow sailors, super-slav survivors and tribe members, Pam and Jess are a gift in my life; they are a home to me. After three years of missed rendezvous I trekked to Atlanta, Georgia to celebrate Jess's golden birthday.

 The weekend was spent in the very best of ways. We saw whale sharks, drank champagne, line danced, feasted on waffles, finished off four-too-many Moscow Mules, talked and laughed until it was morning. And we even added a fourth sister to our very selective sorority, Boho Kappa Praha.

Midwest Home for the Holidays

"And the prettiest sight you'll see is the holly that will be on your own front door"

LEGO-IZED!!!!

Preston's Grand and Genius Creation

God Jul & Happy Building to all & to all a Goodnight!

Our little place in the Midwest PROLOGUE

The Year in Review

Over the last year my bedroom has stretched around the globe. Since saying goodbye to college, California and my favorite friend in May 2012, each season has brought a new home.

Summer 

My first place (EVER!) was a rundown motel in a abandoned town, on Highway 75, 14 miles from Stanley, ID. Mice scurried as I tried to sleep and the floorboards were one termite from utter destruction, but there were mountain top views beyond my bed. Outside a hammock balanced lanky limbs and a copy of War & Peace until the sunset.

My front yard, seriously. 

Fall/Southern Hemisphere Spring

Preston and I rented the balcony bedroom of a historic Sydney terrace home. The house sat above a brick laid park, with sidewalks were roads would be. Within twenty steps north or south was a pub, library, church and park. The house was furnished with an Ozzy man, an Irish lass, a South African dude and a very fat something-or-other cat. While living in Ultimo, we battled coach roaches, celebrated a summertime Christmas and wandered down the way to watch Sydney's Harbor fireworks.

Sydneysiders

Winter/Southern Hemisphere Summer

In the spirit of the bedtime classic Town Mouse, Country Mouse we booked one way tickets to the WA, to WOOF on a southern forest cattle farm. A campervan of our very own dwelled between pasture land and gum tree dells.  Morning, noon and night were met with cups of black tea and accented conversation. Between cuppas Preston served as a cow midwife and taught ukelele lessons, while I drove the family tractor. Kangaroo was ate, hay was hauled and the southern cross was bright.

The Farm

Winterish Spring/The Heat of Southern Hemisphere Summer/Between Here and There

Mid-February we moved to Manjimup Hostel, to live with our own kind, backpackers. The kitchen was dirty. The techno were ceaseless. And the goon, though very very expensive, was plentiful. Every morning we picked grapes with real-life Italians, harvested Apples with Belgians and worked in the fields with Taiwanese girls. The friendships were easy and the days were long.

Manji Nightlife

Before leaving the little bit of England and little bit of rough-n-tumble known as the land down under, we visited Perth.  Free black and white movies, bushels of Subway cookies and a terrible church service whiled away our city days. We never made it to Freo or the park across the city. But we lived in old barracks and slept in a thirty person room reminiscent of a Cambodian orphanage. The capitol city, and home of Heath Ledger, also marked the meeting of our final Australian friend, Seemoo.

Spring/The Hot Season(because that is a season in Thailand)

We had never planned to go to Thailand. It just seemed like the obvious next step, a quick escape route to beaches and Pad Thai. We went without plans.

Bankok's Cheapest/Most Interesting Hostel

Thailand is a place for being lost. We never quite knew what we were eating, where we were going or what we were seeing. Our feet led us down whichever way we hadn't been before. Bangkok was hot in way that my California sensibilities had never known. Two (hot, cold water does not exist) showers a day was the bare-minimum. We lived in a rundown building-turned hostel across from the outer suburb's brothel while learning Bangkok bus routes. Meals were a buffet of fresh pineapple, fried bananas and a few mystery pieces. We made home in an island hut, an old colonial city and above a Muy Thai arena. South East Asia was like nothing I had ever known before.

Summer

After a lunch stop in Tokyo we made it back to California just in time for my sister's graduation. June was a time for sandy toes and home-spun parties. Streamers were tapped up once a week in celebration of birthdays, graduations and a Christmas Fiesta. Trips to Trader Joe's and Target were a constant. Preston and I tromped around the paved paradises of Disneyland and Legoland. Once again I drove the familiar canyon roads that lead to my Pacific. And I as I prepared for my Midwest migration I started a blog.

The Welcome Home/Happy Graduation/Bon Voyage/Fish Funeral Party

Fall

For the first time since high school I will be residing in a single residence for an entire year. The lease has been signed and the pictures hung. Fargo is our first year-round home. We've witnessed the leaves the change and the first snow fall. I eat pasta salad and drink micro-brews. I haven been to Wal-Mart an ungodly amount of times. The people are kind the roads are wide. We own a couch; this is home. 

Cozy Sunday

Mini Break Holiday

My Patron Saint

Bridget Jones affects my life, constantly. Channeling her coat and undies-only December sprint I once tromped down two blocks of Central European snow in my trusty Rainbow Sandals*. I have the Edge of Reason to thank for my constant paranoia while travelling in Thailand. Visions of her hard-Madonna filled-jail time panged in my mind as I became a vigilante against unintentional drug trafficking. Bridg has inspired me me eat my feelings, break resolutions and to never go back to an ex (no matter how good his hair his). And most importantly she infused three important words into my life: Mini Break Holiday.

*word to the wise: DO NOT DO THAT!! B-Girl smartly wore sneakers! Wear the sneakers!!!

Source

What's In A Name? 

For whatever reason, I love the silliness of the phrase. Apparently the English do not go on trips, getaways or vacations. They holiday. And when time is of the essence, they go on mini break holidays.

According to my Jones-impression a mini break holiday has several essential characteristics:

1.While a mini break holiday can be a visit to friends or family the key participants are romantic partners.

2. A mini break holiday cannot take place in your own city.

3. The duo must road-trip to their destination; convertibles and open windows are encouraged.

4. There must be time spent communing with nature.

And my personal amendment, that I am sure Bridget would approve of:

5. You should probably eat things that entirely wonderful and entirely unhealthy.

The Deets

Preston and my previous mini break holidays include a trip to the Hunter Valley, New South Wales' wine country, and a weekend spent in Oceanside, California. Down under we swam in the morning, wine tasted in the afternoon and saw 942,420,187,048 Christmas lights in the evening. The junk food count consisted of eating cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Our second MBH consisted of body surfing, happy hour and Legoland. Room-service, apple fries and two many two-dollar beers landed on our delicious-but-not-nutritious food tally. Our most recent mini break holiday landed us in Grand Rapids, Minnesota. And this trip's yummy time was all about wedding cookies and McDonald's infamous dollar menu.

A photo of our "Photo mini break holiday Souvenir"

You've Got A Friend

A two-way highway laced with evergreens led to an old friend's wedding day. Or rather a new-ish friend with old sentiments. Preston and I met Lenora during the summers we spent at Luther Heights summer camp. And though I've only known Lenora for four years, and hadn't seen her in two the warmth between us has sustained. I think it's because our friendship was built around play. 

A bit of summer camp weirdness
Lenora and I are the ones in the swimsuits

Made-up games, nicknames and lost nights of sleep seem to be the terms of our friendship. Our memories exists in a second childhood. And in that sense we are childhood friends. This kind of friendship is not exclusive to Lenora and I. Rather it seems to dwell between all camp friends. 

Going The Chapel

Lenora and Sam's wedding was entirely them. Their ceremony was filled with perfect harmonies(thanks Concordia Choir guests for carrying the rest of us) and well-loved melodies. The reception was intimate and enchanting; consisting of Norwegian Golf, 4,000 cookies and a lake.

In lieu of glass tapping the couple explained that they would only kiss when a guest serenaded them with a song that included the word "love". I am happy to say that my rendition of "All You Need Is Love" kicked off the kissing. The best man and maid of honor's speeches captured the couple and with the kind of truth that makes you laugh. The evening closed with a bonfire at the groom's parent's house. Two-buck chuck served in red cups and wide stretched smiles sealed in the happiness of the day.

Annika, Lenora & I
And yes, I am a total goober and forgot to get a photo of the bride and groom

Seeings friends has a way of making you feel at home. Moreover returning from a mini break holiday has a way of making you feel at home. So it just so happens I find myself feeling doubly at home in the midwest.

Moving

After a year of exploring Idaho's mountains, Australia's cities and Thailand's beaches Preston and I finally got around to finding a home. And while home can exist amongst friends, family and familiarity the one we have is the kind with a couch. A thrift store seventies-esque couch to be precise. 

Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

And I would like to take this moment to give Preston ALL the credit for getting the heavy beast in our apartment. As much as I shoved, pulled and coaxed the couch would not budge. And as much as Preston tried to "help" my progress by explaining the "correct" way to grasp a ginomours piece of furniture  he ended up schlepping the thing himself. 

basking in it's immovable glory

Lessons from this experience: 

1.Some people were just not meant to lift things. I think my ancient ancestors were the root gathering/hammock dwelling sort. And as a result my wimpy arms and too-short legs have solely evolved for a life of leisurely lemonade drinking and pool swimming. 

2. Boyfriends aren't always the best teachers for their girlfriends. And vice versa. 

The Deets

Our new two bedroom apartment is situated in the Times Square of Fargo North Dakota. Additionally it is garden level, but I prefer to think of it as Hobbit Hole level. It is bright, clean and all of ours for the next twelve months. Which just so happens to be the longest Preston and I have lived in the same place since 2008. Hello new life, new home and new adventure. 

A Final Word to the Wise

You know what they said about bewaring those gift-bearing Greeks, make sure to watch out for package-sending von Kronemanns while you're at it. 

a mysterious extra small package...

A coconut TIKI!!!!
Let's hope there's no relation to the Brady's Hawaiian talisman