Headliners

Uniformed

I don't really do the news. I am currently tv-less, only utilize Huffington Post for Kimye updates and never really found my way to NPR. But today I picked up the paper.

Fargo Forum's front page article failed to mention anything about Syria or Miley. It even left out health care reform. Instead, North Dakota's headlining article focused on this year's upcoming winter. My first real winter. I was intrigued. And then...very very scared.

Reading Tea-Leaves, or whatever Farmer's read...

The bulk of the article reported the Farmer's Almanac winter weather predictions. These predictions include:

"A winter with plenty of “piercing cold” and below-normal temperatures."

(PIERCING COLD!!!!)

"The Almanac predicts “significant snowfalls … for parts of every zone."

(SNOWFALLS (what is a snowfalls!?!)!!!!)

"Wisconsin, Michigan, Indiana and Illinois will be among states with “biting cold.”"

(WHICH IS WORSE?? BITING, PIERCING???)

"New England will be “bitterly cold.”"

(WAIT, HOW DOES BITTERLY SCORE?!?!)

"sub-Artic"

(WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?!?!)

Conclusion

Post-read I learned about the joys of black ice. Post-learning about the joys of black ice I decided to solely rely on dog-sled transportation come the first snowflake.