Breach of Conduct

The Code

I am a person of few rules. I think folks ought to treat each other kindly. And I believe in most of the amendments. But other than those two guiding principles I think the less rules the better. Yet, there is one code I cannot compromise. The Code of 703.

Drafted by several humanities majors and a lone biology student, The Code of 703 outlines conduct conducive to best living. The trio of lifestyle guidelines are painted in the bottom drawer of a yet another dumpster dresser. And are as follows:

The Code of 703

1. We have messy hair, we do what we want. 
2. Nothing Colorado. Ever.
3. Never have a defeatist attitude.*
(Later Amendment)
*One is allowed to have a defeatist attitude if she has been vortexed. 

CRY, CRY, CRY FACE

This is my code. These are my values. And yet, this is my reality. 

Today I wondered how long I would have to blubber, sob and cry until Preston suggested that we head home to California. Immediately.

Today I deeply questioned my sanity for choosing to live in the grand and grim Great Plains.

Today I stepped outside in -24 degrees, -60 when accounting for wind chill.

Today I threw hot coffee into the air and watched it billow into an arch of dragon breath.

Today my bare fingers stuck and froze to the metal door handle.

Today I witnessed my poor truck recede into an icy slumber that no jumper cables could rouse.

Today I wore two layers of...HATS.

Today I was a defeatist.

Midwest Points

Contemplating Crying My Way Back to California= -24 MIDWEST POINTS

Still Being Alive= 24 MIDWEST POINTS

Headliners

Uniformed

I don't really do the news. I am currently tv-less, only utilize Huffington Post for Kimye updates and never really found my way to NPR. But today I picked up the paper.

Fargo Forum's front page article failed to mention anything about Syria or Miley. It even left out health care reform. Instead, North Dakota's headlining article focused on this year's upcoming winter. My first real winter. I was intrigued. And then...very very scared.

Reading Tea-Leaves, or whatever Farmer's read...

The bulk of the article reported the Farmer's Almanac winter weather predictions. These predictions include:

"A winter with plenty of “piercing cold” and below-normal temperatures."

(PIERCING COLD!!!!)

"The Almanac predicts “significant snowfalls … for parts of every zone."

(SNOWFALLS (what is a snowfalls!?!)!!!!)

"Wisconsin, Michigan, Indiana and Illinois will be among states with “biting cold.”"

(WHICH IS WORSE?? BITING, PIERCING???)

"New England will be “bitterly cold.”"

(WAIT, HOW DOES BITTERLY SCORE?!?!)

"sub-Artic"

(WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?!?!)

Conclusion

Post-read I learned about the joys of black ice. Post-learning about the joys of black ice I decided to solely rely on dog-sled transportation come the first snowflake.

Driving

The Complex Person That Is Me

HI

I have many askew character traits. I love hiking, but I am a fitness wimp. A half mile jaunt around cemented suburbia tires me out. I have been known to ask for a piggy back ride from anyone half-willing and able. And when asking doesn’t work I will fling.

Another dualistic example can be found in my college days. Completely unlike the halcyon lull of my high school senior year, my final college semester was jam packed with essays on Metaphysics, Heidegger readings and my capstone. When I wasn't researching my senior thesis on the parallels between Nietzsche’s Dionysian and Apollonian archetypes and Ecclesiastes aphorism in the original Hebrew, I was ravenously watching every Kardashian and Real Housewives E! and Bravo could throw at me.

My recent swing fluctuates between my inner-house cat desires to roll around all day and my serious distaste for being cooped up. Caught somewhere between relaxed and restless country drives have been feeding my sloth and eager appetites.

The Route

HI

Our most recent drive took us toward Henning, Minnesota. To be honest I don’t know what direction that is in. Maps, iPhones and compasses are banned from our four wheel drive wanderings. Instead Preston and I take turns deciding left or right.   

The Grub

HI

I am not ashamed to say that Dairy Queen was our first stop. And better yet it was a deal. For five whole dollars we feasted on fries, burgers, pop* and sundaes. Not to mention our cashier may have been the nicest and most enthusiastic employee I have ever encountered. He gave us a complete rundown on every single sundae topping option and skillfully entered my burger guidelines. Not mention, Dairy Queen carries Mountain Dew. WIN.

*D'ya you like my local speak? J

The Sights

HI

Hay stacks decorate Minnesota’s July. Behind old fences and next to grain towers the giant nursery rhyme favorites overlook the summer fields. Rusted John Deere tractors carry the stacks to their barn like a groom carrying his bride over the threshold.

 The fields pause to let in a small artisan town, Vining Minnesota. The tiny city boasts an astronaut and steel artist celebrities. Antique shops neighbor the gas station/outdoor gallery just a few miles short of Ellington Lake.

 I can’t give direct you to places we went. But I can tell you there were dirt roads, cottonwoods and a  Dairy Queen lunch special along the way. 

Question for You: Do you like getting lost? 

My Answer: Growing up with my mom in the driver's seat has led me down a path of never knowing which way is which. As a result I think the location of "being lost" has always familiar homecoming for me. Y tu?

Midwest Specifics

Midwest Cloudscapes

More Fair Fun

Another batch of Red River Valley Fair photographs!

HELLO

Cookie Dough Anticipation!

Infamous!

A 4-H Earless Cat Cake?

Canning, Canning, Canning

Cherubs Add Something To Every Decor

The People LOVE It

Preston's Fair Creation

Another Corndog Enthusiast

The Dusty Road Home

Red River Valley Fair

My first bucolic Saturday in the midwest was served up deep fried at the West Fargo's Red River County Fair.

Dressed for the Part

Fashion gurus and local chameleons Preston and I took our fair outfits very seriously. Preston donned ultra-faded dad-jean cutoffs, nikes and an apt Guinness T-shirt. While my ensemble's key accent/statement piece were brand new ruffled socks. To rock your own ruffled style you can find the socks in Target's Girl section. Don't worry you can make 'em fit.

HELLO

HELLO

HELLO

HELLO

HELLO

HELLO

HELLO

DEATH

COMES
TO

A MAN

WITH
NO
FEAR

Yummy Yummy in my Tummy AKA CHOLESTEROL, FAT AND HEART ATTACKS!!!

Not willing to dish out the benjamins for carny rides, Preston and I ate our way around the fair The Very Hungry Caterpillar style. And at this point in the program I will hand over the narrative to photographs.

Pork Chop-On-A-Stick & over priced fountain lemonade :(

Foot Long Corndog!!!

Cookie Dough-On-A-Stick!!

Cookie Octopi!

I personally think there should be a yard stick challenge. Fair patrons and those desiring to take a few years off their lives via the deep fryer would be able to purchase a yard stick stacked with every kind of stick-able fair food item. A Red River Valley meter stick would consist of a central foot long corn dog flanked by pork chops on each side, followed by cookie dough on a stick, then candied and/or caramel apples with deep fried cheese curds separating each course. Delicious, no?

Piglets and Jacuzzis 

In between artery clogging courses we wandered through the fair's halls of wonderssssss, also known as the 4-H Showroom, Livestock Quarters and Harvest Hall.

Visiting the Hall of Wonderssssssssssssss

4H- gangstas raise Netherland Dwarfs

Welcome to the Bread Art Category

Piglets!

While the 4-H achievements earn serious bragging rights, my favorite fair essential has always been and will always be the  hot tub display.

Country Concert

Each night the fair concludes with an all-star concert. More than 18,000 dakotans piled in for Friday night's Hunter Hayes show. 

32 Degrees Below set the tone for the evening when they surprised the stadium by performing  a musical interlude in the middle of "Country Girl Shake it for Me" of Sir Mix Alot's "I Like Big Butts". Continuing on the with the overall DGAF set-list The Band Perry performed a beautiful yet odd cover of Ms. Houston's "I Will Always Love You". Apparently North Dakota is where the big names do whatever they feel like. 

Uninterrupted scenery is the summer venue's gem. Just beyond the crowded beer soaked pit is a northern edge of the great plains.The endless panorama of  land seems to bring about a slower emotion than looking upon jagged mountain peaks or restless ocean waves. The ceaseless scenery calls out the infiniteness of living and possibilities. A prairie stills the heart.