Midwest Specifics

This is earth-shattering photo marks my departure from non-comically over-sized pouffy jackets. It also captures a wonderful, wonderful state of affairs known as 40 degrees. While waiting for the train to pass, on my way to work, I contemplated wearing shorts and uggs tomorrow.

SPRING IS HERE!!!

Valentine's Day

Hibernation Hiatus

Preston and I have shared Valentine's Days through the mail, a surprise trip to Tacoma and a meager, balmy picnic in a Western Australian hamlet. This year we decided to do it in style; we headed downtown baby. 

My Downtown Valentine

Preston wore his Thailand tailored suit and I modeled boots, mittens and a pair of Preston's Under Amour. With the aid of a primarily black ensemble, the naked eye was unable to discern the thick long underwear from chic lady-like leggings. 

We sipped on plum wine and imported beer in Wasabi's lobby. After dining on heart-shaped sushi rolls we began our frigid journey to Dempsey's Irish Pub. And because two blocks is too far in -9 we stopped to refresh our spirits at Fort Noks and Rooters. 

Ice, Ice, Baby

Jaeger and Whiskey, the evening's sponsors, made us friends, distracted from the band and exiled us into the perpetual polar vortex. Earlier that night Preston had thought to lock all of his keys in the car, opting just to take his spare; reasoning, one key is easier to keep track of. Later that evening, after jaeger bomb #4 to be precise, we caught a taxi home. And it was only when we were swaying in the bitter wind and wobbling on the icy walkway that we realized the house key was locked eight miles north. 

Two Hours Before...happier/warmer times

Neighbors let me into the warm building as Preston took the taxi back. A long forty minutes later, he returned unsuccessful. Quite worse actually. Somewhere between here and there he lost his spare key in Fargo's snowy tundra. A thin wood door separated us from a warm bed. There was only one thing to do. In fact I had attempted to do it twenty minutes before. 

"Go ahead Pres, just kick down the door". 

And with three swift jiu jitsu moves the door was down and we were in the welcoming hallway of our hobbithole. We both worked that Saturday. I served coffee and pie. Preston repaired a broken door for a silly couple of Californians. 

Truth

Old Habits

It used to be that I shuddered at the idea of entering a Wal-Mart. I sniggered at its shady business practices and was unimpressed by the smiley face stickers. Not to mention I would have to travel to underworld of Simi Valley or Oxnard to even find a superstore.

Upon moving to Fargo, I viewed the fluorescent-lit-city-of-stuff as a necessary evil. It sold $3.00 Minute Maid Brain Juice and was open 24 hours. To navigate the over-crowded aisles I developed a stance called "Wal-Mart Elbows". One is in "Wal-Mart Elbows" when both hands are on each respective hip and create a harsh wide elbow angle. To utilize the stance's full power I encourage one top sway his or her shoulders back and forth. Voila, Wal-Mart People remain a safe distance from your very own personal space bubble*.

*NOTE: One's boyfriend may also stay far away from your personal space bubble, and pretend not to know you, whilst one is enacting "Wal-Mart Elbows".

New Beginnings 

This past weekend marked a new chapter in my Wal-Mart journey. I may have become a Wal-Mart People. Despite my dislike for the store's ethics and my belief that most of their products are sweat-shop-junk, this weekend's actions may have placed me in the weird people at Wal-Mart category.

During my search for inexpensive frozen fruit I tore into a 16 pack of "Chocolate Fudge Pop Tarts". I then went on to devour three packs of the delicious delicacy while wandering the aisles, paying my cashier and hauling my frozen fruit out to my truck. I ate without abandon or fear of what my fellow shoppers thought. Wal-Mart People stayed far away; "Wal-Mart Elbows" unneeded. I was the Wal-Mart People. And this is my truth.

Two Tid-Bits

COOL KID ALERT:

 Pop Tart's website is seriously amazing. In addition to Pop-Tart games and recipes it even has up-and-coming flavors. SPOILER ALERT, 'Murrican Poptart is on its way. 

Life Fact:

Keds and three foot snowdrifts don't mix.

Midwest Points

Wearing Normal Shoes on an -11 day= 7 Midwest Points

Admittingly shopping at Wal-Mart= 3 Midwest Points

Christmas Caroling

Merry Christmas from here to there. 

Midwest Specifics

A pair of rough-n-tumble snow boots have made their way into my ever-expanding slushy, snowy world. 

Owning a pair of snow boots, other than UGGS = 7 MIDWEST POINTS

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like...

Early Arrival

A funny thing happened in Fargo this week. An early frost of Christmas decorations dusted every doorway and light post with tinsel and holly. When I asked a local about the preemptive festivity, she sighed, "It's too early if you ask me, but it's what they do every year."

Busy Sides, City Sidewalks, Dressed in Holiday Style

Christmas Here & There

While I personally observe a post-Thanksgiving holiday doctrine, I am completely un-offended by the gesture. I've seen much worse. Without the seasonal rhythm of Labor Day, Halloween and Thanksgiving to slow them down, Ozzie stores gush with red and green as early as October 1st. The back to school pencil cases are traded for candy cane colored Whoville contraptions. A summertime Christmas calls for all sorts of different Santa interpretations*. And while those of the mighty Midwest winters may dismiss Californian Christmas as flip-flop weather, there is still a wintery sense amongst the natives.

*think wake boarding Santas and neon Christmas trees

Joining in the Christmas Spirit

Not one to be a stick in the mud, I decided to embrace my new found yuletide surroundings with a bit of shopping.  Typically I prefer to shop for books and picture frames; clothes are not jive. But this new season, named fall, is leading me to dressing rooms and clearance racks. The time of sweaters has been thrust upon me. 

Dressed for the Mall*
*my mom refuses to go to the mall underdressed

Maxxinista

In addition to comfy sweaters, it is also time that I pick up some new jeans. It has come to my attention that a lot happened in the world of denim while I wandered around Thailand last spring. My well worn Levis are no longer cool. I am in need of a serious dose of hip. But not too much. A recent trip to Forever 21 taught me that I may never be the epitome of hip again. It looks like I am destined to be Currently 23, and Eventually 24, and so on. Lucky for me, there is TJ Maxx, which giveth unto me a woven bounty. And with said bounty a monster has been unleashed, e.g. I bought jeggings!?!! Not to mention I have already made plans to go boot searching next week.

Glories of Glories!!!

I cannot wait to surprise all my regulars tomorrow. It turns out my fashion choices have sent out a ripple at my lovely cafe. Typically, I dress for each day as if it were 70 outside, seeing as how I only have clothing for such temperatures. And before I head out the door, I zipper up my bulky and fluffy snow jacket. Once I get to work I shed my wintery layer and double wrap my apron strings. My bare arms never crossed my mind, until the one day I wore a flannel button down (Californians wear those). Over six tables of people and the mail man were shocked at my plaid covered arms. Hopefully my new threads will help me blend in better. And then people will finally cease querying if I have ever seen snow. Come on people, southern California is not Siam.