Hibernation

Cozy Cold

A few weeks into January, a few weeks into -20, I stopped fighting the cold. I gave in, and tucked in. Candles are lit and books are read in our little hobbit-hole apartment. Cayenne and garlic billow about our galley kitchen as winter dinner creations are invented. And the heat is always on.

Deciding to do as the North Dakotans do has been liberating. Giving in to the indoors doesn't take long to enjoy. A bath each night to ward off the commute cold and four blankets piled high above our Christmas quilt have become routine. And while I dream about beers drank on summer patios and a return of my sandal tan-lines, I am doing my best to enjoy my final months of winter.

A Hibernation Documentation

Books Read & Re-read:

Gone With The Wind*
Drop Dead Healthy
City of Dark Magic
Cowboys Are My Weakness
Oris A.P.E
A few chapters of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets**
Greek Myths 
Wild

*ceased reading in New Orleans, in order to give Rhett and Scarlett a chance at a different ending
**read by Preston, listened to by Kailynn

Culinary Creations

Hot & Sour Chicken Stir-Fry
Pasta Carbonara, a la Cayenne
Vegetarian Bacon BLT's
Sweet Potato Fries
Grilled PB&J's
Cayenne Fried Chicken & Waffles*

*Chef Preston's masterpiece

Candle Scents

Bahamian Breeze
Ocean Mist
Tangerine Cloud
Spas of Thailand

Movie Dates

American Hustle
Labor Day
Frozen Sing-A-Long
Rushmore

Ground Hog's Day

With the promise of spring, coming one of these far off-days, Preston and I have began to venture out of the den. We have blissfuly dined on Fargo's finest sushi, bopped along to Wisconsin Blue-Grass and even attended a free drinks happy hour. Reaffirming our in it to win it mantra we sketched a plan to tryout every downtown restaurant and bar. As soon as it thaws a bit. 

A Minnesotan Christmas II : Belated

Christmas

A sleepy sermon, an off-key congregation and 76,311,034 cookie species rounded up the 24th. Sledding and snow were a first-ever Christmas Day happening in my wild and precious life.

Coming Up Next: Blizzard Watch

Schools are out & 50 MPH wind predictions are made; Fargo is under blizzard warning. Today was the calm before the storm. The strongest snowfall resembled the closing scenes of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Such a monumental, first ever Blizzard-Warning, moment demanded an impromptu photo shoot.

 Pre-Blizzard Watch

Josie's Corner Cafe Staff

Midwest Specifics

iPhones Say The Darndest Things

 Not snowing snow, or windy snow, but blowing snow. Because that's a thing. Dontcha' know.

The coldest temperature my barely-suntanned body has ever known. 

By the way, Winter officially began on December 21st. 

Zeus, help me. 

Midwest Specific

The latest in my Midwest Fashion

Hello from the Big Bad Burnt Marshmallow

& my New Year's Eve ensemble.

Christmas Caroling

Merry Christmas from here to there. 

Midwest Specific

Hobbit-hole turned Igloo

So, my house is freezing. My life is straight up "Frozen" (BEST MOVIE OF 2013!!!!). 

'

Living in an apartment that is slowly freezing = 2 MIDWEST POINTS

Earth-Shattering

California Confession

I have redrafted my knowledge of snow machinery. Until this week I had never seen a snowblower. Sometime throughout my young life I conceptualized that a snowblower would have the same design and structure as a leafblower*. However unlike a leafblower, a snowblower would shoot out a thin column of flames to melt the snow. 

*an object I had only seen in movies

Revelation

On my drive to work yesterday I witnessed my neighbors and city workers doing something very odd. Men and women were "mowing" every snowy sidewalks with walkable contraptions that shot the "mowed" snow in a perpendicular direction. A thought crossed my mind as I paused at a slushy stop sign: perhaps this is a snowblower.

A SNOWBLOWER
Photo: HomeDepot.com

The thought clicked in my mind like the first time I heard the intended pronunciation of the Hogwart's houses. Thus, I have gained Midwest Knowledge and now have a patent pending for a "Snow Fireball".

Midwest Specifics

A pair of rough-n-tumble snow boots have made their way into my ever-expanding slushy, snowy world. 

Owning a pair of snow boots, other than UGGS = 7 MIDWEST POINTS

SNOW WORLD, SNOW LIFE

Winter Wonder/Dangerland

EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT, EVERYTHING IS NEW. To borrow a sentiment from Cindy Lou Who circa Jim Carey Grinch,  "My world is changing, its rearranging." That is, my world is now a SNOW WORLD. AND I LIVE A SNOW LIFE.

Fargo made it through Thanksgiving with the arrival of the tinniest runt-of-the-litter snowflakes. Preston and I retrieved JC Penny snow globes and other Black Friday booty in a still autumnal world. The post-Thanksgiving weekend trailed on with trips to Target and the unveiling of Preston's home-brewed cider.  We drank on the floor with friends and laughter. And the world was still brown.  But come Monday morning EVERYTHING CHANGED. EVERYTHING REARRANGED.

My Winterized Street

A foot of thick snow had descended overnight. It was beautiful. Side streets and fir trees were candy coated in powdery snow. Angular city edges were made soft. And bare tree branches glistened. The air was refreshingly cold. Each breath seemed to sweep away the remains of humid summer air still lingering in the corners of my lungs. My nose and cheeks flushed in the chill.

Pavement Perils 

This SNOW WORLD, SNOW LIFE  brought about a quest: driving to work in the snow. Before last Monday I had never even been on a snowy road before. And by the end of the day my F150 and I had traversed Fargo's snowy grid.

I bumped off curbs, slid through intersections and drove up a slushy hill at a forty-five degree angle. Driving cockeyed up the hill reminded me of California. My futile attempts to correct my back wheels were reminiscent of biking over Pacific sand dunes-when I used to live someplace warm, ever-so-long ago.

A Glazed Downtown

My struggles continued until the final stretch of my three mile drive. A drive that took twenty minutes. While sliding down Broadway a numerical button caught my eye. Its painted inscription read: 4X4. Four wheel drive is magnificent, a thousand thanks to the genius who invented the snow-friendly function. My day surged with an adrenal rush. The flood of post-trauma chemicals celebrated my survival and triumph over frosted pavement.  I fueled this feeling with eight cups of coffee. A choice I later regretted.

High Fashion

My SNOW WORLD, SNOW LIFE continued with a drastic temperature skydive. Come Thursday the warm thirties abandoned us. A reign of terror hosted by the negatives has taken hold over North Dakota. Yesterday I left for work in -14. To combat such a toxic atmosphere I created my own Arctic Tundra Survival Suit.

Suitin' Up

My ensemble consisted of: leggings, two pairs-one to hold up the leggings- of underwear, ugly socks, brand-new Uggs, Walmart gloves,  wool mittens, a pink North Face fleece, my birthday scarf, a Harlem souvenir hat,  a slouchy shirt-dress, and puppy pajama pants to complete the look. My co-worker Matt said that I looked like a five year old who dressed themself that morning.

Epilogue 

I have currently existed in several days of below zero temperatures. Preston and I even took a short jaunt afterwork in search of downtown Christmas presents. And I am pleased and shocked that I am somehow alive and existing. I am actually in shock that whole societies of people live and thrive outside of Mediterranean longitudes.

I had theorized that humans, like other animals, are meant to be naked and therefore should only live in habitats were one can be naked all the time. HELLO Palms Springs! Preston feels differently. He believes that humans have minds to make tools, such as clothes, and therefore can live anywhere they find a way to survive. 

And while it may not be up to my standards of "Natural Human Habitats" with the help of indoor heating, F150's and puppy pants I have endured my first week of winter. Against all odds. 

MIDWEST POINTS

Enduring my First Week of Winter-Against All Odds= 20 MIDWEST POINTS

Driving in Snow= 7 MIDWEST POINTS

Driving Poorly in Snow= -11 MIDWEST POINTS

Seeing Frozen Water for the First Time= 4 MIDWEST POINTS

Midwest Specifics

Snowplow mountains, Fargo's only topography.

          Oh yeah, by the way, Winter has arrived. Driving in the snow stories will come soon.