Midwest Specifics

A pair of rough-n-tumble snow boots have made their way into my ever-expanding slushy, snowy world. 

Owning a pair of snow boots, other than UGGS = 7 MIDWEST POINTS

SNOW WORLD, SNOW LIFE

Winter Wonder/Dangerland

EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT, EVERYTHING IS NEW. To borrow a sentiment from Cindy Lou Who circa Jim Carey Grinch,  "My world is changing, its rearranging." That is, my world is now a SNOW WORLD. AND I LIVE A SNOW LIFE.

Fargo made it through Thanksgiving with the arrival of the tinniest runt-of-the-litter snowflakes. Preston and I retrieved JC Penny snow globes and other Black Friday booty in a still autumnal world. The post-Thanksgiving weekend trailed on with trips to Target and the unveiling of Preston's home-brewed cider.  We drank on the floor with friends and laughter. And the world was still brown.  But come Monday morning EVERYTHING CHANGED. EVERYTHING REARRANGED.

My Winterized Street

A foot of thick snow had descended overnight. It was beautiful. Side streets and fir trees were candy coated in powdery snow. Angular city edges were made soft. And bare tree branches glistened. The air was refreshingly cold. Each breath seemed to sweep away the remains of humid summer air still lingering in the corners of my lungs. My nose and cheeks flushed in the chill.

Pavement Perils 

This SNOW WORLD, SNOW LIFE  brought about a quest: driving to work in the snow. Before last Monday I had never even been on a snowy road before. And by the end of the day my F150 and I had traversed Fargo's snowy grid.

I bumped off curbs, slid through intersections and drove up a slushy hill at a forty-five degree angle. Driving cockeyed up the hill reminded me of California. My futile attempts to correct my back wheels were reminiscent of biking over Pacific sand dunes-when I used to live someplace warm, ever-so-long ago.

A Glazed Downtown

My struggles continued until the final stretch of my three mile drive. A drive that took twenty minutes. While sliding down Broadway a numerical button caught my eye. Its painted inscription read: 4X4. Four wheel drive is magnificent, a thousand thanks to the genius who invented the snow-friendly function. My day surged with an adrenal rush. The flood of post-trauma chemicals celebrated my survival and triumph over frosted pavement.  I fueled this feeling with eight cups of coffee. A choice I later regretted.

High Fashion

My SNOW WORLD, SNOW LIFE continued with a drastic temperature skydive. Come Thursday the warm thirties abandoned us. A reign of terror hosted by the negatives has taken hold over North Dakota. Yesterday I left for work in -14. To combat such a toxic atmosphere I created my own Arctic Tundra Survival Suit.

Suitin' Up

My ensemble consisted of: leggings, two pairs-one to hold up the leggings- of underwear, ugly socks, brand-new Uggs, Walmart gloves,  wool mittens, a pink North Face fleece, my birthday scarf, a Harlem souvenir hat,  a slouchy shirt-dress, and puppy pajama pants to complete the look. My co-worker Matt said that I looked like a five year old who dressed themself that morning.

Epilogue 

I have currently existed in several days of below zero temperatures. Preston and I even took a short jaunt afterwork in search of downtown Christmas presents. And I am pleased and shocked that I am somehow alive and existing. I am actually in shock that whole societies of people live and thrive outside of Mediterranean longitudes.

I had theorized that humans, like other animals, are meant to be naked and therefore should only live in habitats were one can be naked all the time. HELLO Palms Springs! Preston feels differently. He believes that humans have minds to make tools, such as clothes, and therefore can live anywhere they find a way to survive. 

And while it may not be up to my standards of "Natural Human Habitats" with the help of indoor heating, F150's and puppy pants I have endured my first week of winter. Against all odds. 

MIDWEST POINTS

Enduring my First Week of Winter-Against All Odds= 20 MIDWEST POINTS

Driving in Snow= 7 MIDWEST POINTS

Driving Poorly in Snow= -11 MIDWEST POINTS

Seeing Frozen Water for the First Time= 4 MIDWEST POINTS

my bags are packed, I'm ready to go

The Dream

In my head packing is a very glamourous thing. My collection of dream cardigans are perfectly folded and placed on top of my origami-esque dark denim blue jeans. I breeze through my deep closet and easily select my favorite timeless blouse hanging on a dark mahogany wooden hanger. The event is concluded with the pianissimo rumble of a unstrained and fully operational zipper.

Outside of my head, packing is primarily sorting through a kindergartener-sized mound of wrinkled clothes. Channeling Zeus atop Mt. Olympus my mom intervenes from the couch on behalf of every garment I plan to ditch.  Thanks to her charity and my weak will, I am now travelling with ...FOUR FULL SUITCASES!!!! OIY! (however one is a carry-on, so it's just 3 1/2, right?) But at least the clothes are light. My other essential items are not so feathery.

My Quirk

I don't care for shoes, or jewels. I am not overall invested in stuff.  I do enjoy candles and have a pretty rocking lava lamp. And I love my photo albums. But those can remain on display in my hibernating southern California bedroom. My books, however, must come! As well as three different kinds of magnets.

Legoland Memento Magnets!!

Hebrew Alphabet Magnets!!

Target $1 Impulse Buy Magnet!!

After a very selective draft I whittled the competition down to twenty or thirty must-haves (probably closer to thirty). While choosing my "Fantasy Literature Team" it dawned on me that there must be something personally linked and essential to the books we love best.  As if just by looking at the books any one person would fill a suitcase with, I could know more about them than a facebook feed or instagram post could reveal.

In a similiar vein, idealbookshelf.com creates custom pieces of art featuring your favorite stories. You can even take a peek at a few famous face's "shelves". While I did enjoy internet snooping through James Franco's favorite titles, I  would prefer organizing bookshelves around the world, that's a job  right?

these bad boys will also be fleeing the state with me

The first real conversation my best friend Melanie and I  had revolved around our mutual love for M*A*S*H* and Scarlett O'Hara. The sacredness of Tara and Hawkeye's wily misdemeanours belonged to an essentialness of both of us. The stories we love are templates for the  living we do, the battles we wage and the friends we love.

But alas, there is a more important subject matter when considering packing...

The Question

Q:What is the perfect packing outfit when one is moving from California to North Dakota?

A: A refined ensemble that reflects your deep appreciation for your home, a reminder of another faovrite location and the an exciting accent piece in spirit of your new home. 


When undertaking a merciless task such as pack style is essential.

Voila! 

California Tank, Stanley, Idaho Yoga Pants & the world's most beautiful Uggs